Weddings Info

Weddings of same-sex couples

St Mary’s Cathedral has been able to marry same-sex couples since 2017, following the vote in General Synod 2017 which allowed clergy in the Scottish Episcopal Church to be nominated to conduct such weddings.

As a same-sex couple, can we get married in St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow?
Yes – General Synod voted in June 2017 to allow clergy in the Scottish Episcopal clergy to be nominated to be able to conduct the marriages of same-sex couples. Not all Scottish Episcopal Church clergy will be nominated for this but there are such clergy at St Mary’s. Members of St Mary’s campaigned for this to be able to happen.

Can we exchange rings in church?
Yes – of course. It’s a wedding.

Can we make vows to one another in church?
Yes – of course. It’s a wedding.

Bells? Choir? Organ? Photographs?
Yes – of course, on the same terms as for any other wedding.

Can we get married in Scotland if we live in England?
Yes – of course, lots of couples do.

What order of service can we use?
We use the Scottish Liturgy (2007) which has a lot of options that allow each couple getting married to personalise the service so that it matches who they are and says what they want to say.

Could we have our Civil Partnership or our Marriage blessed in St Mary’s?
Yes – clergy in the Scottish Episcopal Church can bless a same-sex couple at the time of them registering a Civil Partnership or after entering into a marriage that has been conducted elsewhere.

So could we register a Civil Partnership in St Mary’s?
The Scottish Episcopal Church has not chosen to allow Civil Partnerships to be registered in its churches. If you want a Civil Partnership then you need to have that conducted by a registrar and it can’t take place in a Scottish Episcopal Church. You could come to church after a Civil Partnership and have a blessing if you wanted to.

How long have you been doing this kind of thing?
The first public same-sex blessing that we know about in St Mary’s was conducted in 2008. However, the clergy here have been supportive of gay couples for decades and it would be surprising if a blessing of some kind or another had not been offered before then. The Scottish Episcopal Church decided in June 2017 to allow same-sex couples to get married in church.

What does the rest of the church think about same-sex couples being married?
The Christian Churches have divided views about same-sex couples getting married as they do about lots of things.

Doesn’t the Bible have bad things to say about gay couples?
The Bible has a lot to say about a lot of things and the clergy and others in the congregation will be happy to chat more about how we understand the Bible in relation to same-sex couples. There is an LGBT network within the congregation. We believe that gay people and straight people are equally blessed and loved by God and that the Bible teaches us that this is so.

It is a gay church then?
St Mary’s is a church working to be open, inclusive and welcoming. We don’t think that God’s love is limited – straight people are loved by God just as much as gay and lesbian people are loved by God.

Who do I talk to about this?
Speak to a member of the clergy whom you can contact via the Cathedral Office.

Weddings Q and A

Why get married in church?
People have been coming to Church to mark the most significant events in their lives for generations. We’ve got a lot of practice at doing weddings well.

Why get married in St Mary’s?
People get married here for all kinds of reasons. For some people its because they are local, for others its because they belong to the congregation, for others its because they know about the good music on offer and for others its because this is one of the few churches in Scotland to have real bells. Most people coming into St Mary’s Cathedral comment on how stunningly beautiful the building is.

Do I have to be a church member to get married in St Mary’s?
No, but if you want to talk about it one of the clergy would be happy to talk to you about this.

Are you more married if you get married in Church than in a Registry Office?
No

I’ve been married before, can I still get married in Church?
The Scottish Episcopal Church marries a lot of people who are doing this for the second time around. The clergy can agree to marry people in that situation with their bishop’s permission. The important thing to do is to talk to one of the clergy about this. Clergy at St Mary’s will not agree to perform a marriage or bless a civil partnership if doing so would lead to a scandal, for example, if you have children from a previous relationship whom you are not supporting financially.

Will getting married in Church save me from dealing with the Registrar?
No – everyone who gets married in Scotland has to produce a Marriage Schedule from a Registrar. The Registrar will make a charge for providing this.

Can you read my “banns”, I’m getting married in England?
No – banns have no validity in law in ay Scottish Episcopal Church. Contact the vicar in England to ask for a different procedure. (Hint – ask whether a Special Licence would be appropriate).

I can’t afford a big Church wedding, what should I do?
There is no reason for a Church wedding to be any more expensive than any other sort of wedding.

Can we book any particular date?
You need to speak to our Wedding Organiser about dates. Try to sort out the date you want with St Mary’s before booking a reception.

Can we be married on any day of the year?
No, you have to fit in with what’s going on in St Mary’s. We are a busy church and the clergy are sometimes away on holidays. We don’t usually conduct weddings in Lent, the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter each year.

Can I have the full works – bells, organ, choir and horse drawn carriage?
You’ll have to provide the horse and carriage yourself but we can supply the rest. Remember though that there are charges for all these things which are applied separately.

Why do you do the same service for everyone? Can’t we have something more special to us?
We don’t do the same thing for everyone. Indeed, weddings in Scottish Episcopal Churches allow couples to make lots of choices themselves so that they get a wedding tailor made for themselves. You can read the Marriage Liturgy online here.

We are living together, why can’t we get married in church?
You can. Most of the weddings that take place today, including those conducted in St Mary’s are of couples who are living together.

…..but we have children – the priest will never agree to us being married…..
Think again!

Can we be married in St Mary’s if one partner is a Roman Catholic and the other Protestant?
Yes, but it would be appropriate for the Catholic partner to speak to their priest first. There are a number of couples who belong to St Mary’s where one or other of them comes from a Roman Catholic background. If you would like to speak to someone who has that experience, it would be easy to arrange a chat about it.

Can I get married in any colour?
Yes

Can one of your priests come to a hotel/golf course/mountaintop to do the service?
Not without the permission of the local Bishop. Generally speaking, we operate in the church which is a fabulous setting for a wedding. If you are looking for someone to officiate at a wedding that needs to take place in a hospital or hospice, then please get in touch as soon as you can.

We have decided to get married abroad but would like a Church blessing. Is this possible?
Yes.

Can our own pastor/priest/minister/celebrant marry us in St Mary’s?
People who are not licensed clergy here can only take services in St Mary’s Cathedral with permission of the Bishop of Glasgow and Galloway and also that of the Provost of St Mary’s. If the person is in good standing with an Anglican diocese then it is unlikely that they would be refused permission. More details are likely to need to be discussed regarding clergy from other denominations. It may be that the bishop will recommend having a local member of the clergy take the service and ask the other person to take part in it. Scots Law prevents non-religious celebrants from conducting weddings in St Mary’s.

Are your priests married or celibate – how do they know what this feels like?
Clergy in the Scottish Episcopal Church can get married or enter into a Civil Partnership if they want to, so some are single and some have been through all this themselves. Most clergy have a lot of experience and expertise in marrying people. They can make helpful suggestions and try to help you work our what will work for you on the big day and beyond.

Second Time Around?

People quite often ask whether or not it is possible to get married in church, or in particular by one of the priests of the Scottish Episcopal Church when one or other of the people involved have been married before.

In most circumstances it is possible for such couples to be married by a priest though the priest does need the permission of the local bishop before he or she can conduct the wedding. This is a routine part of the pastoral care which the bishop offers to local clergy and local people.

A bishop would be unlikely to agree to a wedding if it was going to cause an obvious scandal. A bishop would also be unlikely to allow a marriage to take place if there were children from a previous marriage or partnership who were not being looked after properly, including appropriate financial provision.

Any couple seeking marriage in church where one or other of them have been married before should speak to the priest whom they hope will marry them at the earliest opportunity.

Bishop Gregor (our local bishop) asks for three months notice to be given to him to enable him to be able to come to a decision. All people getting married in the Scottish Episcopal Church should expect to speak with members of the clergy before they get married. For many couples where one or other of them have been married before, meeting the bishop is part of the pastoral process leading up to the wedding itself.

A significant proportion of weddings conducted in Scottish Episcopal Churches are those where one or other (or both) of the people getting married have been married previously.

If you have children and are getting married you can discuss with the priest conducting the service ways of involving them in the ceremony.