Why get married in church?
People have been coming to Church to mark the most significant events in their lives for generations. We’ve got a lot of practice at doing weddings well.
Why get married in St Mary’s?
People get married here for all kinds of reasons. For some people its because they are local, for others its because they belong to the congregation, for others its because they know about the good music on offer and for others its because this is one of the few churches in Scotland to have real bells. Most people coming into St Mary’s Cathedral comment on how stunningly beautiful the building is.
Do I have to be a church member to get married in St Mary’s?
No, but if you want to talk about it one of the clergy would be happy to talk to you about this.
Are you more married if you get married in Church than in a Registry Office?
No
I’ve been married before, can I still get married in Church?
The Scottish Episcopal Church marries a lot of people who are doing this for the second time around. The clergy can agree to marry people in that situation with their bishop’s permission. The important thing to do is to talk to one of the clergy about this. Clergy at St Mary’s will not agree to perform a marriage or bless a civil partnership if doing so would lead to a scandal, for example, if you have children from a previous relationship whom you are not supporting financially.
Will getting married in Church save me from dealing with the Registrar?
No – everyone who gets married in Scotland has to produce a Marriage Schedule from a Registrar. The Registrar will make a charge for providing this.
Can you read my “banns”, I’m getting married in England?
No – banns have no validity in law in ay Scottish Episcopal Church. Contact the vicar in England to ask for a different procedure. (Hint – ask whether a Special Licence would be appropriate).
I can’t afford a big Church wedding, what should I do?
There is no reason for a Church wedding to be any more expensive than any other sort of wedding.
Can we book any particular date?
Try to sort out the date you want with St Mary’s before booking a reception. Please fill in a wedding enquiry form to begin this process.
Can we be married on any day of the year?
No, you have to fit in with what’s going on in St Mary’s. We are a busy church and the clergy are sometimes away on holidays. We don’t usually conduct weddings in Lent, the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter each year.
Can I have the full works – bells, organ, choir and horse drawn carriage?
You’ll have to provide the horse and carriage yourself but we can supply the rest. Remember though that there are charges for all these things which are applied separately.
Why do you do the same service for everyone? Can’t we have something more special to us?
We don’t do the same thing for everyone. Indeed, weddings in Scottish Episcopal Churches allow couples to make lots of choices themselves so that they get a wedding tailor made for themselves. You can read the Marriage Liturgy online here.
We are living together, why can’t we get married in church?
You can. Most of the weddings that take place today, including those conducted in St Mary’s are of couples who are living together.
…..but we have children – the priest will never agree to us being married…..
Think again!
Can we be married in St Mary’s if one partner is a Roman Catholic and the other Protestant?
Yes, but it would be appropriate for the Catholic partner to speak to their priest first. There are a number of couples who belong to St Mary’s where one or other of them comes from a Roman Catholic background. If you would like to speak to someone who has that experience, it would be easy to arrange a chat about it.
Can I get married in any colour?
Yes
Can one of your priests come to a hotel/golf course/mountaintop to do the service?
Not without the permission of the local Bishop. Generally speaking, we operate in the church which is a fabulous setting for a wedding. If you are looking for someone to officiate at a wedding that needs to take place in a hospital or hospice, then please get in touch as soon as you can.
We have decided to get married abroad but would like a Church blessing. Is this possible?
Yes.
Can we play recorded music during our wedding?
St Mary’s is a live music venue where professional and amateur musicians create some of the best church music in Scotland. The Cathedral cannot accommodate requests to play recorded music during services.
Can we have confetti?
Yes, so long as you have specified a few of your guests to completely clear it up before you leave. The cathedral has brooms for this purpose.
Can we take photographs in the church after the service?
Yes, you are welcome to take photographs in church after the service. Your time slot in the cathedral is for 2 hours. Please make sure that you are ready to leave after this time. There may be another wedding after yours!
Can we decorate the church for our service?
Yes, but please make sure you have identified who will remove the decorations before the end of your two hour time-slot. No adhesives may be used on either the floor, pews or any other surfaces.
Who will preside at the service?
It is the policy of the Cathedral that weddings are conducted by a member of the Cathedral clergy. This might not be the person whom the couple first meet.
Can we have a non-religious service at St Mary’s?
No, this isn’t possible. Scots Law prevents non-religious celebrants from conducting weddings in St Mary’s.
Are your priests married or celibate – how do they know what this feels like?
Clergy in the Scottish Episcopal Church can get married or enter into a Civil Partnership if they want to, so some are single and some have been through all this themselves. Most clergy have a lot of experience and expertise in marrying people. They can make helpful suggestions and try to help you work our what will work for you on the big day and beyond.